Trying for a baby can be a hugely challenging time. Especially when you’re having to do it alongside managing career and job expectations. But add to that the unique stresses – both physical and mental – that come with IVF and it can be an extremely difficult situation to navigate, especially as it is often something you feel you can’t, or shouldn’t, talk about. According to Fertility Network UK, without any allocated fertility leave in place, employees often have to use up annual leave or take sick leave to cover appointments and treatment time, which can impact on wellbeing and encroach on their staff benefits. Sara Redwood, corporate partnerships lead at Peppy, knows this juggle all too well, having been through it herself. ‘It was one of the most difficult experiences that I’ve been through in my life – not just the experience of the actual cycle, but the two-year build-up as well and the impact it had on my ability to perform at work. ‘I definitely didn’t feel able to talk about my experience very openly to begin with,’ she explains. ‘I didn’t feel comfortable disclosing what I was going through. I had this huge weight on me psychologically.’
Find out if your workplace has a fertility policy. It can be reassuring to get the facts about what you are entitled to before you disclose what you are going through to your employers. You may be able to access this via the internal intranet, so you may not need to contact HR straight away. Having this information will enable you to plan your journey moving forward.
If it is your first time going through a fertility treatment cycle, it can be useful to speak to your fertility clinic and find out what your treatment will involve. Fertility clinics can usually provide a timeline so you have a rough idea when scans and procedures may take place. This can help put your mind at ease and allow you to schedule your workload.
It can be reassuring to speak to others going through a similar fertility journey. Some workplaces have fertility support groups or try online support groups. The UK’s national fertility charity, Fertility Network UK, offers free monthly regional and fertility-specific support.
Your decision to talk about fertility treatment or not is a personal choice and depends on how comfortable you feel. While most people who choose to disclose their fertility journey do so as a result of needing to ask for time off to attend appointments, it can be a worry not knowing what kind of reaction you may receive. Do whatever feels right for you. If you do choose to share with your employer, it can help your manager with planning for absences. Try giving them as much information about timings for your treatment cycle as you can. Be honest about the need for flexibility around appointments. Work together and looking at different options for attending appointments. For example, using flexi-time or working from home. Your levels of anxiety can be lessened in what can be an emotionally challenging time.